Point Break is one of those movies that’s so fucking perfect, so sublime in its idiocy, so saturated with action cliches that it cannot be improved upon. It does not need a sequel. I certainly doesn’t need a Keanu-less, Swayze-less sequel.

Point Break is a “must stop what you are doing and watch when it comes on TNT or TBS or whatever” type of movie.

Do me a favor. Watch Point Break (sober) sometime. Just pay attention and count all the crazy inconsistencies, and plot holes and complete impossibilities in that movie.  It boggles the mind. Then watch it again (this time probably not sober) and try NOT to have fun. I dare you.

The guy directing it was also the director for Speed (yay!), Twister (meh!) and Tomb Raider 2 (horf!).

Dear Hollywood Jeebus, please abort this movie fetus before it can shit its deadly venom on little orphan children (this is how it feeds). And please drown all men responsible for its conception in boiling vats of their own bile and testicle blood. Amen.

• We called the dog Indiana (1)
• They’re just jealous (1)
• You’ve got the touch. You’ve got the power. (10)

I wanted to point out a few new developments for HijiNKS Ensue that some of you Fancy Bastards might enjoy.

Finnish FB, Jarmo, started an HE Facebook Group.

I’ve finally started uploading reader pics to Flickr.

I also posted some pics from one of our first HE Podcasts. Probably episode 4 or 5.

I’ll keep updating these as I get new pics, so send yours to comics(at)hijinksensue(dot)com.

I also wanted to remind you that if you use Twitter, you can follow me here.

And you can check out my video blogs, where I chronicle my attempts to make a living from this comic, here.

Lastly, looks like I’ll be working with FB Bill to set up a Fancy Bastard Forum. More on that as it develops.

• Watch your step, Stumblers (0)
• Would the Fancy Bastards fancy a Sharksplode shirt? (0)
• With apologies to the baby Jesus (9)

The first comic was posted on May 11th 2007.

Updated 5-12-08

If you are one of these people:

The Participants:

1. Aaron (seen it)
2. dishliquid (have address, gave to Aaron on 5.12.08)
3. Bill (need address)
4. Flanked (have address)
5. Dram (dramthevirgin@gmail.com) (have address)
6. Jeff Baier (have address)
7. Tyler (need address)
8. LiteSpecter (have address)
9. MoBurkhardt (need address)
10. Eddie (need address)

Send your mailing address to comics(at)hijinksensue(dot)com. I’ll make sure the people on the list get each other’s addresses.

Aaron is done (and somehow he lives) and Bill is waiting until the end of May. That would make Dishliquid next.

• “Undefeatable” VHS Shitty Movie Challenge! (0)

Josh’s team beat Valve’s team in a developer only Team Fortress 2 tournament.

Valve actually made the game.

I think that’s what the kids on the drugs call “pwn3d.”

(new guest comic in the morning. heading to bed now after 7 hours behind the wheel with an unhappy baby.)

• The Kratos Costume Paradox (4)
• Moist and Delicious Cake (20)
• Hyper Realistic Murder Simulators (24)

Looks like we’ll be leaving town either tonight or tomorrow morning for a funeral. My wife’s grandfather passed away yesterday. The funeral is near my hometown (Beaumont, TX), which is about a 5 hour drive from Dallas.

Not sure what this means for the site yet, but family comes first. I assume I will miss at least one comic update, and the podcast will either be late or not happen at all this week.

Once I get to Beaumont, I have no idea if I’ll even have internet access. I most likely won’t unless I can drive around until I find an open access point. I will have my iphone, so I can receive and reply to emails, but I don’t think I can respond to comments.

I’ll post more when I know more.

-Joel